I Dedicate my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black Belt to my Son Christopher
Performance for my Black Belt Grading
Click to Check it out on YouTube
Click to Check it out on YouTube
Christopher's life was taken 6 September 2017. He was 26 years old. I do not believe he chose for the devastation that was to follow or for the outpouring of love and change that was to happen. His life had meaning to those that were touched by him. He was compassionate and loving! His kindness indiscriminate!
From the moment my husband and I were told the devastating news that Christopher was found deceased in his apartment, we knew that something was not right!
This has recently been described to me as the "Switch" and the Switch was clicked off right from the start. It is easy to see a person with a smile on their face, joking around and full of high energy and assume they are happy. It is just as easy to make a judgement that if their mood is low, or they have made mistakes in the past that they are labeled this or that!
I have to admit I have done the same, we probably all have! The problem with Systemic Departmental Switching Off is that one person becomes two people and then two become three - a bit like peer pressure. It takes a courageous person or persons to stand up and say "Hey, no this is not right!", "Lets not jump to conclusions!"
It is so much easier to cover ones little arse than to make an effort to do what is right. Some things are just not ok!
My son Christopher became a victim of Systemic Departmental Switching Off and I believe that many people have children that are cast off as not having value! I can say from 16 months experience of fighting Systemic Departmental Switching Off that it is a soul destroying battle and one that I can understand being just too hard to fight and even identify. I am sure there are parents and families that just don't know the truth about their children's deaths!
I have found it absolutely dumbfounding the amount of "Cluster Fucks" that one family can be exposed to and it is deemed ok, it is seen as oh too hard and it also becomes a situation of saving face rather than standing up and saying "no we need to right this!"
I have stood up to individuals and departments that were supposed to advocated for Christopher and his family; police (from general duties to Superintendents), Morgue Transfer Staff and their superiors, Funeral Fund hierarchy, Deputy State Coroner to State Coroner, Local Ministers to the Prime Minister, Secretary and Associates to the Attorney General to the Attorney General! I have found the most foul, disgusting and despicable, to the most compassionate, empathic and kind, to dealing with the most uneducated to the most highly intelligent.
There are some things that are just not right and that is why I fight! I don't want another mother to see, feel and smell what I had to endure! I get knocked down, I develop my own acronyms to give me courage FTDC, I seek support from my dear, dear peeps, I get back up and I fight again. I write another letter, I make another phone call, I document another interaction and I rest. I get up, fight and get knocked down again and I hold onto the belief that I engage one person at a time. Do you hear me people!!! If one door doesn't open, then fucking knock on another door louder! "ONE PERSON AT A TIME".
Don't think I am "Super Woman" as I am sure that those closest who see me snivelling snot, wiping away tears, swearing A LOT, going to the GAP just to see what that is all about, wanting to sleep and not wake up, all know that I am not quite what I appear on the Front Line. I think the thing that keeps me going is that I really do try to be kind, I really think that resilience is born from giving back, being real, having faith and having those few people that just love you, feed you and listen to you and are in your corner. In my job I have people I can choke and put in compromising positions and they can do that to me! Sounds like a porno film but hey it is Jiu Jitsu and we have a Gi on or No Gi but that is an in joke lol.
I will sign off with gratitude. Thank you to my small family, my adopted family, my friends, all my BJJ peeps and those that cross my path and give me the gifts of courage, compassion, kindness, resilience and most of all Love!
Don't be a victim of Individual or Systemic Departmental Switching Off. Stand up and say no! Basically DON'T ALLOW PEOPLE TO BE BE A DICK OR A FTDC!
Blessings
Nikki
And the fight goes on and is not over. It aint over till I say it is over - I am coming for you!
From the moment my husband and I were told the devastating news that Christopher was found deceased in his apartment, we knew that something was not right!
This has recently been described to me as the "Switch" and the Switch was clicked off right from the start. It is easy to see a person with a smile on their face, joking around and full of high energy and assume they are happy. It is just as easy to make a judgement that if their mood is low, or they have made mistakes in the past that they are labeled this or that!
I have to admit I have done the same, we probably all have! The problem with Systemic Departmental Switching Off is that one person becomes two people and then two become three - a bit like peer pressure. It takes a courageous person or persons to stand up and say "Hey, no this is not right!", "Lets not jump to conclusions!"
It is so much easier to cover ones little arse than to make an effort to do what is right. Some things are just not ok!
My son Christopher became a victim of Systemic Departmental Switching Off and I believe that many people have children that are cast off as not having value! I can say from 16 months experience of fighting Systemic Departmental Switching Off that it is a soul destroying battle and one that I can understand being just too hard to fight and even identify. I am sure there are parents and families that just don't know the truth about their children's deaths!
I have found it absolutely dumbfounding the amount of "Cluster Fucks" that one family can be exposed to and it is deemed ok, it is seen as oh too hard and it also becomes a situation of saving face rather than standing up and saying "no we need to right this!"
I have stood up to individuals and departments that were supposed to advocated for Christopher and his family; police (from general duties to Superintendents), Morgue Transfer Staff and their superiors, Funeral Fund hierarchy, Deputy State Coroner to State Coroner, Local Ministers to the Prime Minister, Secretary and Associates to the Attorney General to the Attorney General! I have found the most foul, disgusting and despicable, to the most compassionate, empathic and kind, to dealing with the most uneducated to the most highly intelligent.
There are some things that are just not right and that is why I fight! I don't want another mother to see, feel and smell what I had to endure! I get knocked down, I develop my own acronyms to give me courage FTDC, I seek support from my dear, dear peeps, I get back up and I fight again. I write another letter, I make another phone call, I document another interaction and I rest. I get up, fight and get knocked down again and I hold onto the belief that I engage one person at a time. Do you hear me people!!! If one door doesn't open, then fucking knock on another door louder! "ONE PERSON AT A TIME".
Don't think I am "Super Woman" as I am sure that those closest who see me snivelling snot, wiping away tears, swearing A LOT, going to the GAP just to see what that is all about, wanting to sleep and not wake up, all know that I am not quite what I appear on the Front Line. I think the thing that keeps me going is that I really do try to be kind, I really think that resilience is born from giving back, being real, having faith and having those few people that just love you, feed you and listen to you and are in your corner. In my job I have people I can choke and put in compromising positions and they can do that to me! Sounds like a porno film but hey it is Jiu Jitsu and we have a Gi on or No Gi but that is an in joke lol.
I will sign off with gratitude. Thank you to my small family, my adopted family, my friends, all my BJJ peeps and those that cross my path and give me the gifts of courage, compassion, kindness, resilience and most of all Love!
Don't be a victim of Individual or Systemic Departmental Switching Off. Stand up and say no! Basically DON'T ALLOW PEOPLE TO BE BE A DICK OR A FTDC!
Blessings
Nikki
And the fight goes on and is not over. It aint over till I say it is over - I am coming for you!
